Pieces of my brain and heart

100th

2008-10-08T23:53:00.003+11:00

I made a promise, that after the 100th post of this blog, I'll move.

It pains me to leave this place.
A place of many heartfelt words.
A place of memories.
A place of emotions.
A place of truth.
A place of lies.
A place of imaginations.
A place of innovations.
A place of fantasies.
A place where I defined "ME".
A place where I found myself.
A place where I can escape.
A place where I recover.
A place where I rant.

As reluctant as I am to leave, a promise is, a promise.
I never thought that I'd be attached to something in the virtual world, but I did.
People say change is always good. But really, is it ALWAYS good?
People need consistencies in life. So, why would some desire change so badly?

In life, you met many people. Some goes on to become your acquaintances. Some goes on to become your friends. And some goes beyond that. Have you ever thought, a random stranger you met in the most unlikely place of all, will give you the best lesson in life you've ever learnt? Have you ever thought, a stranger you met, will give you the best advice that anyone else can never give? It happened to me today... Thank you is all I can say.

I have been reluctant to write this last post, and now I'm reluctant to end it. My head is so jumbled up. My feelings are so mixed up. I don't know how to express myself today. There are so many things I want to say, but words can never measure up. What I'm going to say next may not make sense to anyone else but me.

I don't like the fact that I'm not in control.
I don't like the fact that everything you do/say affect me in ways I have never imagined.
I don't like knowing that you have such an impact in my life.
I don't like how you changed the way I act.
I don't like the person I'm turning into because of you.
But whatever it is, thank you for entering my life.

xoxo,
MeR

~Above all things, I believe in love~

MOVED

2008-10-07T21:59:00.002+11:00

Today, I was at borders and was just flipping through books that looked interesting. And then I came across this:

Believe in the power of love; that you too can transform reality. You are not your past - you are your future. Know that, and you will create something extraordinary.

Hidden

2008-10-05T15:49:00.003+11:00

I hid behind the curtains of lies.
I hid behind the mask of deception.
I hide... That's what I do best.

Isolation

2008-10-04T14:35:00.002+10:00

Hurt

Isolated

What is there to do?

Dreams

2008-10-04T12:39:00.003+10:00

It's funny how dreams can affect you the next morning, whether you remember it, or you don't.
Whatever dreams you had, be it good or bad, will determine your mood for the next day. Well, that is if you have a dream.
And in a way, the dreams you had will affect the way you feel for the person you dreamt of. You may feel angry towards that person, happy, or you'll start to like that person, be it in a romantic way or just plain platonic.
The scary thing is we just can't control what we are going to dream of.

That dream of you left me disoriented.

Living

2008-10-04T01:37:00.001+10:00

Stop the complaining.
Stop the whining.

Be thankful that you are living a life.

Familiarity

2008-10-04T01:06:00.001+10:00

I breathed in a familiar smell.

All the memories just come rushing.

Damn, that smell!

Ocean

2008-10-01T20:08:00.003+10:00

Like the wave, you swept away everything I've carved on the sand.

But then again, nothing lasts forever right?

Obsession

2008-10-01T00:56:00.001+10:00

Believe it or not, I'm obsessed with finding you, Mr Stranger. Freaky huh?

Teardrops on My Guitar

2008-09-29T15:36:00.005+10:00

This is a song for you, dearest (refer to post titled "Random Thoughts", 17/09/2008), wishing you all the best =)

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's just damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

F.Y.I

2008-09-29T11:30:00.003+10:00

You've been a total bitch. What the fuck is wrong with you?

selfish possessive bitch

The Perfect Stranger

2008-09-28T21:25:00.006+10:00

Everything else has to wait, because I have something really important (well, at least to me) to say.

I met a stranger today who sweeps me off my feet. As strange as it sounds, I feel a connection. So, here goes:

Dear Mr stranger,

Whoever you are, I don't know. I know that you're also Indonesian. I saw you in Greco at Crown today at around 7.30ish, 7.40ish plus at night, you were with another 2 friends at first and another one joined you after . We made a couple of eye contacts. Even while you were waiting outside, I noticed you looking. I wasn't sure it was me you were looking at. But the second and third time I looked, I was pretty sure it was me. The electrifying eye contacts we made completely blew me off. I wanted to smile at you but I was too shy. I couldn't hold the gaze long enough to let you know that "hey, I think you're cute". I noticed too, that before you left, you turned around to have one last look. I regretted not giving you a smile then. So, if fate allows, hope we will cross paths again. I hope by then I will have the courage to smile at you. Till we meet again, Mr Stranger.

Love,
MeR

p.s: Do these things only happen in movies?

Apologies

2008-09-25T01:48:00.002+10:00

Sorry for being away for quite a while (like anybody cares). I have a pretty good reason. My computer decided that it's time it consumed some viruses, and so it did. Due to some complication, it had to be sent to the "hospital" (a.ka. Service center). Got it back on Monday but was busy installing all the programmes and songs. So here I am.. Using Jeannie's computer while she's happily snoring away. Erica is beside me still engrossed in Facebook. Staying over at clayton for 2 nights. And now I'm going off to bed.. Night world~

P.S: While away, I did write some things on paper, but don't have it with me now. Will update when I get home. Ciao~

Love VS Hate

2008-09-25T01:44:00.002+10:00

There's a thin line between LOVE and HATE.

Rather than wasting your energy to passionately HATE someone, why not passionately LOVE another?

Random thoughts

2008-09-17T18:26:00.004+10:00

Did it ever cross your mind that you will die alone?
Did it ever cross your mind that you will spend the rest of your life by yourself?
Did it scare you?

How do strangers become friends and then become strangers again?

A letter for you:

Dearest,

I'm afraid to lose you. But I'm also afraid that the tighter I hold on to you, the more you'll try to get away. Just being the way we are is enough for me.

You're someone who's too good to be true. I wouldn't ask for more than what I've already gotten. But if I could, I want to give you more than what I've already given. If you'd allow me to, I would give you my all. I keep hoping that one day, you'll see me in a different light.

No matter what happens in the future, you'll always be that special person who occupies that particular corner in my heart. You're not ordinary, you're extraordinary. You're not like others, you're unique.

I admire you for your confidence, (as strange as it sounds) your cockiness, your independence, your perseverance.

I am just the coward who can't tell you how I really feel. I can do nothing but wish that one day you'll see right through me like I am a transparent glass. You're too special to lose..

Love,
MeR

P.S:. I love you

Contemplating

2008-09-15T20:02:00.001+10:00

Should I move to wordpress?

A little secret

2008-09-14T23:37:00.002+10:00

Sometimes I am ashamed to have a __________ like you, being controlled by another human being who should not have the right to do that. When are you going to start standing up for yourself and your _______??

Love,
MeR

Spring

2008-09-14T16:59:00.002+10:00

Spring has arrived. The air is warmer and less crisp.
I hate this kind of transition between seasons, because almost everyone around me is falling sick!!! So, at this time, Vitamin C is my new best friend.

Season of love, season of heartbreak, season of sickness -.-

Welcome back, Spring!

Memories

2008-09-13T16:28:00.003+10:00

Yesterday, I flipped through the pages of Book of My Life. I smiled looking at the colourful pages created by the happy memories. I teared looking at the black and white pages which give out sadness and sorrow. When I close the book, I look at the cover. It was beautiful beyond words. It was simply breathtaking. I realise, it is the mixture of colourful pages and the black and white pages that made the cover of the book to be so brilliant. Without that mix, it would be just like other ordinary books.

And yesterday, we toast to the happy memories. =)

Life?

2008-09-10T17:42:00.003+10:00

You can't have everything in life.

You gain a thing, you lose a thing.
You gain a friend, you lose a friend.

Is that really how life works?? Because if it is, I don't want to meet new people because I love all the people who are in my life right now. Can I do that?

P.S: Still at law library. Still trying to finish my lab report.

Wonders

2008-09-10T16:23:00.005+10:00

"God's work is flawless."

I have to agree. This is not going to be a religious post or anything.

Recently, I have been facing a lot of problems. Be it with uni, personal or social. I was at a breaking point. I wanted to wave the white flag and say "I'm done. That's it, I'm taking no more."
Just when I was about to do that, the problems seemed to be solved one by one.
I got into thinking, this didn't happen only once. How many times in my life I've wanted to throw in the towel; countless.. But every single time before I get the chance to do that, everything seems to get better. That's when I realise, He will not put us in a situation where we cannot handle. He will not leave us in despair cause it hurts Him just as much to see us at the lowest point of our lives.

But He has to put us through all that shits to make us learn. We, as human beings are so ignorant. We take things for granted. We don't know what's really good for us. We don't know when to learn from out mistakes. We have to go through all the bad things we're going through.

All of it make us a better person. All of it shapes the person we become. All of it helps us get through life.

After realising all this, I can't promise that I'll stop whining whenever some bad things happen to me. I can't promise I'll stop complaining when I have many problems. But I can promise that I'll never stop praying, for He will always be there to listen.

When the whole world turn its back on me, I know He is still going to be there to guide me. I'm not perfect, I don't go to church every sunday, but He loves me for my imperfection and I'll always have FAITH in Him...

P.S: I'm at Melbourne Uni's Law library atm.. Supposed to be finishing up my Personality and Social Psychology lab report. -_-" Will get back to it now. Ta~ everyone.

P.P.S: This is not a post to promote Christianity. It is just my experience.

Melt

2008-09-08T20:31:00.003+10:00

Listening to a love song.
Strolling under the sun.
Feeling the warmth underneath my skin.
Wishing all the troubles will melt away..

The Sound of White - Missy Higgins

And if I listen to, the sound of white,
sometimes I hear your smile, and breathe your light.
Yeah if I listen to, the sound of white ..
You're my mystery. One mystery.

F*

2008-09-08T00:36:00.001+10:00

"sorry" has been uttered. what else is there to do?

Fuck the world.. Fuck it all..

Jika

2008-09-07T17:31:00.005+10:00

Jika hati bisa berbicara,
Tidak lagi akan ada kebingungan.
Jika hati bisa berbicara,
Tidak lagi akan ada pertanyaan.
Jika hati bisa berbicara,
Kau akan tahu apa yang kurasakan.
Jika hati bisa berbicara.....

Refreshed

2008-09-07T17:10:00.002+10:00

Stayed home the whole day to clean the room. It feels so good now cause every single corner is clean and tidy. The satisfaction... Just pure bliss. I do enjoy cleaning though I'm very lazy. Ironic I know. But it's very refreshing to see something dirty/ messy becomes clean and tidy.

I'm supposed to be doing my assignments but can't help, the room is way too messy for me to concentrate. Awrighty, it's time for me to clean myself up.

P.S: Gonna have pizza for dinner. Yeay!!

P.P.S: Where are you?

No, I can't

2008-09-06T14:46:00.003+10:00

I can't do this on my own..

Does it have to be this way?

T-T

2008-09-06T00:43:00.004+10:00

Slight progress in essay. Still long way to go.
Can't wait for the holidays.

You've been a distraction, P.
You've been occupying my mind.
But I don't mind a single bit.
When I close my eyes, you are all that I see.

Sunshine

2008-09-05T00:08:00.002+10:00

You're the sunshine in my gloomy days.
You're the tiny bright light at the end of the tunnel.
You're the strength in my weakest hour.
You're, YOU.

Down

2008-09-03T18:47:00.003+10:00

I'm feeling a little under the weather today, for a reason I don't even know. I guess I've been happy for awhile already and now it's time for me to be all sad and sappy.

Emotions.
They come and go like the wind.
One moment you feel like you're on top of the world,
One moment you feel like you're walking through hell.
Emotions.
Are some fucked up feelings that mess with you.
Are some feelings that keep you going in life.
Do we have to experience all these?

God, please help me make it through this 3 weeks of hell.

Seventeeee 70

2008-09-03T18:33:00.006+10:00

"The most difficult lesson to learn is: Which bridge in life to use or which one to break off."

"You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now."

For my special friends (you know who you are), THANK YOU

"The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish the most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity."

2008-09-03T00:05:00.003+10:00

I'm totally in love with these heels. Will someone get them for me??
It's not that they are expensive, it's just that they are sold in Forever21 and Australia doesn't have Forever21! DANG! It's going to cost me AU$45 just for the shipping fee if I order them online. Friends in US, get it for me pleaseeee....

<3

2008-09-02T18:28:00.003+10:00

Today was a really tough day at uni. I was moody, super stress! Lunch made my mood better though, meeting with the girls, laughing at tze, asking stupid questions to the guys (i.e. Would you rather marry a man who looks like a woman or a woman who looks like a man? Would you rather sleep with a gorilla who looks like a woman or a man who looks like a gorilla? and a few others).

The thought of assignments totally killed my brain cells and make me go crazy. It's really piling up and it's time for me to start on something but instead here I am updating this blog. Well, that's because I have something happy to share with you! It only affects me though.

After a rough day in uni, the highlight of the day was one of my lab classes.

Thank you for smiling at me P. It totally made my day and lighten up my mood. (Still blushing... And my heart still flutters when I think of it). Throughout the 2h lab, my heart was beating really fast. *sigh*

P.S: Thank you for helping me make it through this rough day.

Brace yourself

2008-08-31T22:29:00.001+10:00

"One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart you can't utter"

Winter-Spring

2008-08-31T18:29:00.005+10:00

The wind is getting warm, the days are getting less depressing. That's when I realise, winter is ending. A part of me is delighted. I am eager to see the blooming flowers, the colourful scenery when I look around. Another part of me is sad to see winter going away. I love the winter. I love the dry crisp air in the morning. Even though days may get really cold especially with the rain, I still love winter. I love having to wear a little more piece of clothings to keep me warm. I love having to fight the wind on those windy days. I guess you can't be selfish. You can't have everything you desire. Season has to change, people have to grow up, days have to go by, years have to pass by. Change is good.. Right?? This is going to sound really ironic. Winter is said to be the most depressing season of all. I do have a love-hate relationship with winter. I get down more easily during winter. And I've heard of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) where someone who has this will get super duper depressed during winter up to the point of suicide (Interesting huh).

Spring, not my favourite but I don't hate it either. Nothing much to say about spring. Just that beautiful flowers blooming and happier days ahead! Enjoy the last days of winter people because spring is coming to town.

P.S: Winter in Melbourne is not as beautiful as the picture portray, neither is the spring. Hahaha.

Weekend

2008-08-31T18:14:00.005+10:00

Special weekend this week. Went to party and the 2 lovelies stayed over with Jeannie taking over my personal space (HA!) Awaken at 12 by sms from Erica asking if I was ready to go. Panic!! Replies her message and went back to sleep (WHAT?!!). Woke up 15 minutes later and realise I'm in deep shit. Rushed to the bathroom, get ready. Met them at flinders to eat at TAB. The best fish and chips I guess. Had lunch for awhile then off to Highpoint we go. Met Cindy in footscray and took the bus. Almost got lost but luckily we didn't. Reached there at 3.30PM and realised the mall closes at 5.30PM. o_O Went to valleygirl (main reason I went there, sorry for dragging you guys along. *peace*) After walking around for a bit went to gloria jeans. Had my new favourite creme brulee chillers introduced by Erica.

We reminisced about the past, how different the past was. We used to play with marbles, rubber bands, petak umpet, tak jongkong, tak patung, etc. We concluded that the kids in the past had more fun then the kids in the present (who are more technologically advanced, playing with PSPs, NDS and other video games). Went back after that, cook bihun bakso (meatball vermicilli??) and went to safeway buying ingredients and stuffs. In the end stayed over there. Had fun in the morning (or should I say midday) being woken up with SUPER DUPER SHOCKING NEWS (sense the sarcasm). Ate chicken rice, had fun some more and decided "it was time for me to go home" (line from the song "Big Girls Don't Cry"). And now here I am typing this entry away. It was a really fun weekend. I love meeting the girls every weekend (sorry if you are bored of me.Hehe)

They put a great end to the stressful week. They are the reason I look forward to weekends.
Previous post, I dedicated it to Erica Kosasih and now it's for Jeannie Kosasih (the sister).

Jeannie Kosasih, Jenoi leboiii, cenoiii, etc. (HAHAHA) thank you for making my weekend even more enjoyable. You are such an entertainment!! Thank you for being a listening ear too =) Stop being so pervert please. Hahahaha. I'll go over to clayton lagi deh some time yah. Be a good tour guide! Kissy kissy poo!

Demon

2008-08-28T00:02:00.001+10:00

I feel so evil.

Me emo??

2008-08-22T00:21:00.005+10:00

A friend (Soegiharto Widjaja) has just brought to my attention that the posts in my blogs are apparently emo. Quoting him "wah ur blog.. sounds abit emo nih".

It got me thinking though. Why do I only write posts that are emo? Out of the 60 something posts I have actually written, you can count with one hand the number of entries that are light-hearted. And I start to search myself the reason for this imbalance. I found a reason that may or may not satisfy you my friend.

The thing is, I like happy times. I enjoy them sooo much I never want to let them go. The moments are so precious that I just want them kept in my memories. You may think "what has it got to do with not writing them down in your blog?" I always believe that when you write something in a blog, it is your way of letting go. It is your way of venting your emotion and just getting rid of whatever you're feeling. I'm so afraid that by writing down the happy times, I'd soon forget about them. Will I?

To my friend, thank you for the advice of "look at glasses that are half full rather than half empty"

A cliche quote some of you may say. But it gives a whole new different meaning when it comes from a friend when compared to you reading it yourself. =)

I guess from this moment on I do have to learn writing a more light-hearted post and stop complaining a lot yeah? Hahaha.

Hello world

2008-08-21T22:29:00.002+10:00

I'm supposed to be doing my Development essay right now but heck, my brain is out of juice. =_=
So, instead, I'm going to update this dusty blog *blows off dust* as requested by xxx whoever you are.

Life hasn't been that interesting lately. Basically, I've just been going to uni and meeting my best best best friend in the world Erica Kosasih on the weekend. She's here on exchange and I'm so glad. She helps me through a lot of things this past 4 weeks. I keep bothering her with my ranting and complaints. But she never once showed that she's bored or can't be bothered. She is the one person that keeps me grounded to earth and reality. When I start to think too positively of something uncertain, she pulls me back to where I am by saying things that actually make sense. I love her frankness, honesty, fearless comments. I love her for being who she is. =)

Anyhoots, I miss Indo =(

broken

2008-08-05T00:14:00.002+10:00

I heard something break. It was so loud that I swear I was becoming deaf. I looked around trying to identify the source of the noise. I could find nothing. Everything is prim and proper. Nothing seems to be out of place. Nothing is scattered on the floor. I forgot to look inside myself... When I did look, it was too late. Something already crumbles into thousands and millions of pieces. It was beyond repair, beyond mending. No wonder I don't feel a thing anymore. It is all gone. I feel NUMB... And it's all because of you.

Healing

2008-07-31T00:42:00.003+10:00

And the heart speaks "I'm tired, give me a rest and leave me alone for awhile"

When you have a cut, it will heal perfectly. Leaving barely any scar. But is it the same case when you have one on your heart? This is not an emo post, it's just some random thoughts.

Over the past few years, many slashes, bruises, deep cuts. They heal with time, but is there barely any scar? I don't think so. I believe scars are left behind, those that can open up again leaving fresh wound. We don't have much choices do we? We can't choose not to fall in love, we can't choose not to like someone. Maybe we can, but the heart definitely can't. Are we to blame then?

Some quotes I love from Grey's Anatomy. Those that really hit close to home and some that really gave me a lesson.

"What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should have healed years ago and never did. Maybe our old wounds teach us something...they remind us of where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not the way it is, is it? Something's we just have to learn over and over and over again."

"The truth is painful. Deep down no body wants to hear it, especially when it hits close to home. Sometimes we tell the truth because the truth is all we have to give. Sometimes we tell the truth because we need to say it out loud to really hear it for ourselves. And sometimes we tell the truth because we just can't help ourselves. And sometimes we tell them because we owe them at least that much."

"Forgive and forget, that's what they say. It's good advice, but it's not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled, old wounds never healed. And the most we can hope for, is that one day we'll be lucky enough to forget."

"You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations. Because the expected is just what keeps us steady, standing, still. The expected is just the beginning. The unexpected is what changes our lives."

"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. [...] The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need."

"Even now I believe for the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending, most of the time, and that sometimes despite all your best choices and all your best intentions, fate wins anyway."

NEW BABY!! =D

2008-07-03T23:39:00.002+10:00

Good news first, I got my EOS 450D FINALLY!!!!!!! Haven't really gotten the time to play around with it yet. So happy!

Bad news, I came back from Singapore yesterday. But almost couldn't make it. Reason? Ashamed to admit, I left my passport in a bag, and asked my dad to bring that bag back to Indo ( he left a day earlier). So, I was left without passport to travel! HOW HOW HOW?! In the end, my kind dad bought a ticket and came to Singapore again to pass it to me. I know it costs a lot and I do realyl feel bad about it. *sigh* but there's nothing else I can do. T-T

Lesson learnt: Clear the bag before you change.

P.S: I'm in Indo atm. Going to Bali on Monday. =D Can't wait!

Beauty

2008-06-24T14:18:00.003+10:00

As some of you may already know, I love to walk in the cold and crisp weather, listening to music. It gives me time to think and to just take in the beauty the world has to offer.

You live only once, why would you want to fill your life with just work or study? I'm not saying that those things are not necessary but they don't have to take up every single space in your life. How many of you have actually stopped and just breathe in the fresh air in the morning while walking to work or school? How many of you actually take in the surrounding? I bet not many. It's really sad..

The world offers so many beautiful sceneries, and living things and yet, the people who live in it don't even know how to appreciate them, destroying them with pollution and yadda yadda yadda..

Anyhoot, time flies yeah? Just months ago I was booking a flight to go back home and in 6 days time I'll be in my second home (Singapore)!! In 12 days, I'll be off to Bali!! You guys better enjoy the fair me right now cause when I'm back from Bali, I'm gonna be black y'all! Muahahaha. I love tan.

P.S: Do take a moment and really just inhale or whatever you do to take in the beauty of the world. Do try, it's worth that one minute you spend. =) Love you world!

Fashionista

2008-06-19T23:48:00.002+10:00

Looking at the title, you may think "Oh she's going to be writing about fashion today" You're 50% right. I'm going to be writing about fashion, but MY own fashion. Sorry to disappoint you. HAHA. Hey, what do you expect, it is MY blog.

About a month or so ago, something (shall not mention who or what) enlightened me. I've come to realise that I cannot be forever the T-shirt and jeans girl! All this time, I've been so comfortable in my T-shirt and jeans and casual jacket. I realise I have to care more about how I look. So, I started buying new clothes and dressing up. Even though there is no special occasion. And the thing is, I feel good about myself! I feel more confident knowing that I look good not just so-so.

So, I've embarked on a project of revamping the content of my wardrobe. Can a sugar daddy please kindly sponsor me? HAHAHAHA. Just kidding... I'm saving up. I've already spent a humongous amount of money (shall not mention how much !!!?!!!?!!) to buy new clothes and shoes. Still have a loooonngg way to go.. *sigh* But I'm determined! So next time I buy clothes, no more ugly T-shirt. Someone please be very very generous and send me lots and lots and lots of money pleaseeeee...!

P.S: Thank you pepi for being my personal stylist. You are the BEST!!! Can't wait to go Bali!! xoxo, gossip girl. (errr.....?)

Cyberculture

2008-06-19T20:00:00.002+10:00

Get home, on the laptop, do whatever I need to do, sit in front of the laptop, facebook, blogs, msn.

That's basically my routine for every single day (well, almost). But come to think of it, I was surprised at how much time was spent in front of the computer! I still remember those days when I know nothing about the evil thing called "INTERNET". I remember how, as a family, we used to just watch TV together, have dinner together and all. But at the present, we eat dinner in front of our own probably 15" screen. Where are all the quality times people??? Where are all the bonding time?? I wouldn't want my kids to grow up not having the warmth of a family gathering.

And then I come to thinking, what if there's no internet or computer? Like if they were to disappear at this moment, will I be able to survive? *ponder*

My answer is: YES. I can survive. It has been proven. Whenever I go back to my home country (Indonesia), the internet speed is soo slooowww it can be said that I don't have internet. And because of that factor, I don't like going online when not necessary. I survive! I have my dogs to play with, TV to watch and friends to go out with.

But if I don't have any friends or family members or any human being I can talk to, I'll DIE!!

That's why I agree that "HUMAN IS A SOCIAL BEING"

2008-06-18T00:47:00.004+10:00

Sorry for being away for too long, my non-existent readers! Have been really busy with exams. But fret not, it's all over now.

I have quite a few things in my mind that I actually want to blog about during the exam period. Howeveeer, due to the time constraint (?!??!), I mean because of all the studying, I can't really blog it out. And sadly, now, some of those ideas are gone!!!

Anyways, one of the things I remember is the topic on "HAPPINESS"

The first step towards achieving happiness is:

BE CONTENT WITH WHO YOU ARE

I find this true. You have to learn to accept you as YOU (confused yet?). The point is, no matter how you look like, no matter what your character is, no matter how imperfect you are, ACCEPT IT! Accept every single bit of you! Hey, nobody's perfect right?? And I'm nobody (nyah nyah nyah). Ok back to the point. I know it's easier said than done, but you can try. A step at a time. I know I haven't been exactly practicing what I preach. I still find all the things I'm unhappy with about myself (i.e. my tummy, my thigh, my hips, my nose, my eyes) Oh maann I can go on and on and on and on... I'm learning, sloooowwwly, but learning.

Oh gosh, my brain is so tired at 1.52 AM. I can't think of anything else to say. Geez... Alcohol is no good for the brain. Nooo goood.. Whee~~ I only had a quarter bottle of Vodka Cruizer for Pete's sake!! Now I'm arguing with myself. Fine, I better sleep now.. Me need sleep, brain need sleep, good night world!

P.S.: I take more than an hour to write this entry??!! My brain must be really f* up!

Something of something

2008-06-03T20:13:00.005+10:00

I got this from a friend's blog and he got it from the movie "Evan Almighty"

God: Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

On a totally separate note...

"Love is the most inexplicable, unscientific, irrational of all phenomena. The only thing we know is that it can happen to anyone." - Boston Legal

I've given up believing in love a long time ago....

3000 words

2008-06-03T00:23:00.002+10:00

A picture is worth a thousand words. 3 picutres=3000 words.

Confidence

2008-06-02T16:58:00.001+10:00

I guess it's true how people say you want the things you can't get.

Just think about something you want so badly but you know that you can never get your hands on ~~him~~.. thing, I mean that thing. The desire to own it is overwhelming. Sometimes it's bigger than yourself.

~~Ok I'm rambling..~~

The point is, why is it that we want those things or even those people that we know we can never own? Is it because there is no such thing as IMPOSSIBLE? Is it really true that NOTHING is impossible??

On a side note, I really need to be more positive about myself. I really need to boost my confidence and I really really need to make myself believe that I deserved to be loved, that THAT person will grow to love me, that it is not impossible for all that to happen.

*sigh*

[It's not love, it's not like, it's not infatuation. It is only admiration. It is only the joy of wanting but never owning. You were just a trophy]

Bliss

2008-05-29T21:57:00.002+10:00

Sweet friends who came over at midnight, wanting me to jump into the swimming pool in the freezing weather. Love them anyhow.. Thank you for the bracelet! =D

Super duper sweet friends who bought me my favourite anthurium and lied to me while waiting in the lobby. Willing to miss their class. Awwww.... *hugs and kisses*

The beautiful ANTHURIUM!

=.)

2008-05-29T02:39:00.004+10:00

One birthday wish from a special someone that will make me the happiest girl in the world never came...

Will it come next year?

Hope... The one thing that keep us living in the world.

I'm STILL hoping.....

[Love me for A SECOND and I'll make it last A LIFETIME]

TWENTY

2008-05-29T00:19:00.003+10:00

So, my journey towards adulthood have ended. I've reached a place called the big 2-0. I guess this is where I'll start a new life as an adult. But then again, I'm reluctant to leave that youth part of me behind. I've decided I'll carry it along with me and whenever I need it, I'll just have to pull it out. =D It's a win-win situation!!

Hmm, what am I feeling right now? Bliss cause I have friends who lied to me in order to surprise me (Fiona, Amanda, Fenella, Hendy, Rivano). I'm glad that I've lived 20 years in this world. Though there are some things I may not be too happy about and things that I wish I had done differently. But overall, I'm really satisfied with the beautiful family I have, the friends who will stood by me no matter what, accept me for who I am. Just one thing missing though. I haven't yet experienced the feeling of loving someone wholeheartedly, the feeling of finding soulmate, the feeling of just PURE LOVE. That's the one thing I've yet to experience, the one thing that I desire. I guess God has His own plan for me and I'll just leave it all to Him.

Thanks all for the wishes =D

Mistakes

2008-05-27T13:49:00.001+10:00

I don't learn from all my mistakes, only some.

Because some mistakes are WORTH MAKING.

He

2008-05-26T15:49:00.000+10:00

He is the definition of perfection.
You are my definition of perfection.

you

2008-05-25T17:38:00.003+10:00

Can be admired, cannot be touched.
Can be desired, cannot be owned.

Every single time you leave, you left me confused and disoriented..

When you're close I don't breathe
I can't find the words to speak

self-obsessed

2008-05-21T21:54:00.002+10:00

Gosh!! It has come to my realisation that I have been sooo absorbed in my own world that I forgot everything and everyone around me!

I hate myself!! I can't believe I forgot my Dad's birthday!! MY BELOVED FATHER!! Geez!!!! So pissed at myself. Sorry daddy!! >.<

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY! LOVE YOU ALWAYS!

xoxo,
Your lovely but forgetful and self-obsessed daughter

Slipped

2008-05-20T20:26:00.003+10:00

I've started on something, but today I slipped. I'm sorry.. I apologize to myself. Sometimes I condemn ME for my lack of discipline, for my lack of determination, for my lack of will power! Good Lord please make this easier on me. Please help me get through this.. *sigh*

*Slap myself really hard across the cheek*
Wake up Mer and don't ever slip again. The guilt is unbearable....

Sushi!

2008-05-09T21:30:00.003+10:00

MeR is a good girl today and stayed at home the whole day. And and and! She make fish finger and breast chipees sushi!! It's delicious.. yummy. No, she didn't finish it all herself. I'm bored to tears today. I think I have to get used to staying at home since I'm trying to save up some cash. Hmmm... I'll find things to do then. Maybe do some baking. Wooo Woooo!! I'm excited for the next few weekends staying home =))

Alone

2008-05-04T17:07:00.002+10:00

So today I went shopping alone and it was fun. I like having some time for just ME and no one else. Walking around aimlessly, not having to hurry because no one is waiting for you. It gives me time to think.

I don't get people who think that those who eat alone, shop alone are pathetic. I know that "No man is an island" but still, you don't need you friend 24/7. Or maybe, I'm stepping into adulthood which makes me realise that being alone is ok...

Anthurium

2008-05-04T17:01:00.002+10:00

Have been in love with this flower since forever but just found out the name yesterday.

With their open, heart-shaped flowers and tropical disposition, it’s no wonder that anthurium have come to symbolize hospitality. Also known as the Flamingo Flower, Boy Flower, Painted Tongue and Painter’s Palette – because of their distinctive shape and color – the name anthurium comes from Greek, meaning “tail flower.” Exotic and compelling, with bold, typically red flowers and shiny, dark green foliage, anthurium, like the hospitality they represent, are long-lasting and irresistibly beautiful.

2008-05-02T00:08:00.001+10:00

MISMATCH ON THE SURFACE

Wheel

2008-05-02T00:00:00.004+10:00

Things are looking up and I'm glad =)

*Life is a spinning wheel. You can't expect to be on top forever*

Bad week

2008-05-01T00:23:00.004+10:00

I have been having a really bad week. But yes it will get better. I believe it will and when I believe, it will happen. =)

Bad Day- Daniel Powter

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on

Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day

Lesson learnt

2008-04-29T21:38:00.002+10:00

I got my keys back. And it cost me $100. Though lesser than what it's suppose to cost me. I hope the money really goes to the lift company and not the building manager's own pocket. *sigh* From this day on, I'll hold the keys really really tight...

NOOO!!!

2008-04-25T00:00:00.001+10:00

I stupidly dropped my keys in the lift gap. All because of that overly hyper dog! And it's going to cost me $290 to get back the keys! Like HELLOO!!!!!

My friend was able to get her tram card for free though, so I hope I can get my keys for free too. *sigh*

Stuffs

2008-04-22T23:15:00.003+10:00

I think about all the things that had been said. Sometimes I wish that I have said things differently, I have acted differently. The point is, I re-think what had just happened. And that's what happen with you. You make me feel stupid for saying the things I say. You make me re-think situations just because I want to impress you. These are all the things YOU do to me...

Secrets

2008-04-20T13:51:00.000+10:00

And I like to keep you a secret =)

Strange Confession

2008-04-17T20:38:00.003+10:00

I know this is going to sound real strange coming from me. But I just want to tell the world that......

I'm actually very excited about studying for exam like I want to start right now!!!

Stress melanda

2008-04-16T23:28:00.002+10:00

Meriana will be away on holiday for a month. I WISH!

*sigh* 1 more week and all assignments over!!!

Oh sorry, this is super random post.

2008-04-13T12:30:00.001+10:00

This, totally blew me away...

The Interview with God

TRUTH

2008-04-12T14:43:00.003+10:00

No matter how hurtful, no matter how real. You can't run away from truth forever. You have to accept it, acknowledge it and get over it..

Take care to all who have been hurt by truth..

Random-ness

2008-04-11T19:49:00.002+10:00

And then you get comfortable with someone. Too comfortable in fact. You stop thinking before you speak. You stop holding back words. And after it all spills out, you think "damn"! Then you regret, but all the regret you feel can never take back all the words said.

This is what words can do to you. Fill you up with lots of regrets...

And then.....

2008-04-10T18:59:00.003+10:00

Feelings came back to me like waves.

Hello, nice talking with you. Goodbye. =)

"It's Just the Way We Are"

2008-04-06T22:32:00.000+10:00

We hold on to things the tightest,

when we are forced to let them go-

We always want things a certain way,

when we know they can't be so.

Dreams always last the longest,

when they are the furthest from our reach-

And the lessons we can learn the most from,

are often the very ones we teach.

The grass is always the greenest,

when it lies on the other side-

And the truths we preach to others, are often those we can't abide.

We hold fast to the things in a storm,

which are most likely to blow away-

And yet we neglect to wear sunscreen,

on a bright and sunny day.

We spend our time trying to see things,

when perspective is one thing we lack-

And we never appreciate what we've got,

until we can't get it back.

We expect the whole world to give us a break,

and yet ironically we'll find-

That when others come asking the same of us,

we tell them they're out of their mind.

We tell everyone what's wrong with this world,

and we do nothing to make it right-

We complain about families falling apart,

and yet do nothing to keep them tight.

We preach about loving our neighbors,

and we teach children right from wrong-

But we never set good examples for them,

when real chances come along.

We complain about not having enough time in our lives,

to do what we must do-

Yet if we were given more hours in the day,

we'd use up all that, too.

We desire to be close to all those we love,

yet all too often look on from afar-

And when it comes to the truth do we want to change,

or remain forever as we are?

"Paintbrush"

2008-04-06T22:30:00.000+10:00

Paintbrush

I keep my paintbrush with me
Wherever i may go,
Incase I need to cover up
So the real me doesn't show.

I'm so afraid to show you me,
Afraid of what you'll do-that
You might laugh or say mean things
I'm afraid I might lose you.

I'd like to remove all my paintcoats
To show you the real,true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.

So if you'll be patient and close your eyes,
I'll strip of my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
To let the real me show.

Now my coats are all stripped off.
I feel naked, bare and cold,
And if you still love me with all that you see
You are my friend pure as gold.

I need to save my paintbrush though,
And hold it in my hand,
I want to keep it handy
Incase somebody doesn't understand.

So please protect me, my dear friend
And thanks for loving me true,
But please let me keep my paintbrush with me
Until I love me, too.

"When We Risk It All"

2008-04-06T22:15:00.003+10:00

A beautiful poem taken from Erisca's blog

Written perfectly by Kristy Glassen

We can't blame others when love dwindles away-
For we knew from the start it never promised to stay.

It's just one of those things where the stakes are high-
And sometimes it's forever, and sometimes it's good-bye.

When you love the right way, you will never lose-
No matter what path life may force you to choose.

You may end up with tears or a broken heart-
but you knew what you signed up for from the start.

You can only give what you've got to give-
And if that's not enough, then you must continue to live.

Life will go on and broken hearts will heal-
You must continue on your quest, for that's the deal.

Throw your heart into life and never stall-
for the greatest risk is to risk nothing at all.

You see, love is the only thing that we know-
That can be divided and divided but continue to grow.

And life isn't long enough to lock away our heart-
Just because life may have forced two people apart.

We will continue to love and continue to lose-
We will continue to pick and continue to choose.

And then one day we will just risk it all-
Take the chains off our hearts and dismantle the wall.

The last time we love will be forever-
And never again will our hearts be forced to sever.

We'll never have doubts that it'll go away-
Because this time, it'll be here to stay.

But until then we must endure all the pain-
For we only see sunshine if we can wait through the rain.

Journey to the big "2-0"

2008-04-03T00:00:00.002+11:00

It just dawned upon me that I'm turning 20 soon and I mean real soon. 56 days to be exact. And not like most people, they get panic that they're turning so old, afraid of getting wrinkles and all.

I'm pretty excited about turning 20. Come one, learn to embrace aging. It's a natural thing.

The reason for me being all excited is because I feel that something is going to happen this year. I felt it when the new year begins. I know some of you will say that it is bullshit, but hey, I know what my instinct is telling me alright. 99% of the time, they are accurate.

I ponder about all the things that have been happening to me for almost 20 years now. I think about all the lessons and knowledge I have acquired, be it through experience or teaching. I reminisce about the happy moments, sad moments and all the uncertainties. I wonder about all the people that I have met so far in my life and the many more people who I am going to get to know and hopefully a special person that I'll spend the rest of my life with. I thank The Greater Power Up There who have laid my life in front of me, who have given me a beautiful family with parents to die for, friends who stood by me through everything, friends whom I fought with but who forgive me for my mistake.

Alrighty, I'll stop here before it sounds like my dying letter or something.

Anyways, so, on my birthday I'm going to write a special post.. I shan't reveal it yet. It shall remain a secret =) But yeah, do look forward to it.

Dream car for 2009

2008-03-30T02:04:00.004+11:00

I want to get this one. The price is pretty reasonable and it's new model. I'd love to get it in the rose colour or the orange one. Hahaha. I HOPE... *cross finger*

"New Soul"

2008-03-30T01:52:00.001+11:00

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

See I'm a young soul in this very strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout what is true and fake
But why all this hate? try to communicate
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make

This is a happy end
Cause you don't understand
Everything you have done
Why's everything so wrong

This is a happy end
Come and give me your hand
I'll take you far away

what?!

2008-03-27T00:53:00.004+11:00

I just realise that I am a gadget freak!!! Goodness, I just got a new phone a couple of months back and right now I'm already eyeing another one! But I've always wanted a sidekick/hiptop since forever!! It's just that they are not out in other countries. Here are some of the things I want:

- Canon 450D
- Macbook Pro
- Sidekick/hiptop
- Blackberry

But right now Canon 450D is my priority!
Hoping that I can get my canon during my june holiday. Hopefully it'll be out by then.. *sigh* Already asked my parents though, and they allowed me to buy but with my own money!! I don't mind *grin*. Yeay yeay yeay!

=)

2008-03-25T23:16:00.003+11:00

Even before I knew it, my heart had stopped liking you. It's been awhile now and I feel liberated (exaggerating, I know)

I still don't like you though (not him)

F-ing Pissed

2008-03-24T21:54:00.003+11:00

I started feeling pissed for some reason...

You can stop acting all nice in front of me, pretending to care how my life is going. And for Christ's sake, please stop bragging that you know more things about him than I do. I already know that, you don't have to tell me. And if I want to know all those things about him, I can ask him myself.
Just letting you know girl, not everyone loves you. Get that in your thick skull.

And really, when I say stop acting all nice and caring, I really do mean STOP! Geez...

Phew, feels good to let it out of my system...

And the rain is here, the smell and sound of it calms me down..

It's time..

2008-03-24T16:12:00.002+11:00

I really hope YOU get to read this...

I'm sorry that you have to be the one,
I'm sorry for disturbing you with stupid meaningless messages,
I'm sorry you feel bothered,
I'm sorry if I ever make you feel uncomfortable,
I'm sorry for everything,
Except one thing, I'm never sorry that I fall in love with you because it's the most beautiful thing I have ever felt.

But now it's time....

Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend.

Broken and shattered

2008-03-23T21:11:00.002+11:00

Everyone keeps telling me that I have to let you go, I have to move on. But I have been a naughty friend who doesn't listen.

And now I wonder.. Is it time I heed their advice? Will I be able to ever let you go? Will I be able to forget you completely?

Whatever it is, you have already taken a part of me away and I will never feel whole again..

Unbelievable

2008-03-21T00:41:00.004+11:00

It has been a few months now and I still like you. I've thought about giving you up for good. But it's just something that I can't bring myself to do. Because the feeling that I get when I think of you is indescribable. And I would take my heart out and present it to you without thinking twice.

This, is for you....

I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Now I see ,what love means.

It's so unbelievable
And I don't wanna let it go
Its something so beautiful
Flowin down like a waterfall
I feel like you've always been
Forever a part of me
And it's so unbelievable
To finally be in love
Somewhere I never thought I'd be

You are magical

2008-03-19T23:21:00.000+11:00

Though I tried before to tell him
All the feelings I have for him in my heart
Everytime that I come near him
I just loose my nerve as I've done from the start

Coz every little thing he does is magic
Every thing he does just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for him goes on

Do I have to tell the story
Of the thousand rainy days since we first met
It's a big enough umbrella
But it's always me who ends up getting wet

(Repeat Chorus)

I resolve to call him up
A thousand times a day
And ask him if he'll marry me
In some old fashioned way
But my silent fears have gripped me
Long before I reached the phone
Long before my tongue has stripped me
Must I always be alone

Every little thing
Every little thing he does
Every little thing he does is magic, magic, magic

My heart beats for you

2008-03-19T00:27:00.003+11:00

I would give you all that I am, for all that you are.

"Love me for a second and I'll make it last a lifetime"

Corny love songs

2008-03-18T16:41:00.000+11:00

Not a thousand love songs can express what I feel for you.

"Love you so"

2008-03-17T22:05:00.000+11:00

From the minute that you got my attention
I was taken and I have to mention
I was trying not to let it show
But I knew that I wasn't gonna let you go
From the way that you came right to me
Looking all hot with the style that threw me
No one would've ever known it
You would be the one who take this heart and hold it

You got that extraordinary way
Got to be next to ya every single day
You do something that I just can't explain
Wanna take the chance and tell you you're the one for me

Boy, I love you so
Just look in my eyes, they'll tell you where this could go
Yeah
Do you know it
Boy, I love you so
Look in these eyes, they'll tell you where this could go
I just want you to know

You can say anything you want to
No stress 'cause I understand you
We got a vibe you can't define
Want everyone know that boy is mine
We won't fight and stop and stare at the way you hold me
You take me there at times
I feel I lose control
Forget everyone but the hand I'm holding

Please know this
I'll always be right here
And you don't have to look
Nowhere else babe
Don't think for a minute
This love will change
Oh you should know that

Boy, I love you so
Just look in my eyes, they'll tell you where this could go
Yeah
Can you feel it
Boy, I love you so
Look in these eyes, they'll tell you where this could go
I just want you to know

Sweet Memories

2008-03-17T00:19:00.000+11:00

I look around and all I see is you. Your face is in my every view. Sweet memories shared. kept and locked away deep inside the heart. Never forgotten, always remembered.

<3,
MeR

2008-03-16T11:39:00.000+11:00

This is gooodd...

Stardust *

2008-03-15T18:30:00.000+11:00

"My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine."

With love,
MeR

YOU are <3

2008-03-15T18:05:00.000+11:00

One single message and you totally make my day, and that's what I love about you =)

"I Miss You"

2008-03-15T16:15:00.000+11:00

Gimme a reason
Why I'm feeling so blue
Everytime I close my eyes, all I see is you
Gimme a reason
Why I can't feel my heart
Everytime you leave my side, I just fall apart

And when you're fast asleep, I wonder where you go
Can you tell me, I wanna know

Because I miss you
And this is all I wanna say
I guess I miss you, beautiful
These three words have said it all
You know I miss you
I think about you when you're gone
I guess I miss you, nothing's wrong
I don't need to carry on

Gimme a reason
Why I can't concentrate
The world is turning upside down
Spinning round and round
Gimme a reason
Why I now understand
The beauty and simplicity of everything surrounding me

You got a way of spreading magic everywhere
Anywhere I go, I know you're always there
It sounds ridiculous, but when you leave a room
There's a part of me that just wants to follow you too

It's such a hard life in most of the time
I'm just surviving
That's why I want you to know
In the world where sincerity has lost its meaning
You fill my world with so much hope

And I miss you
This is all I wanna say
I guess I miss you, beautiful
These three words have said it all
You know I miss you
I think about you when you're gone
I guess I miss you, nothing's wrong
I don't need to carry on

You know I miss you
And this is all I wanna do
I know it doesn't sound too cool
But maybe I'm in love with you

I just miss you
Yeah, it's true
I miss you, baby
And when you're walking out that door
I know I miss you
You make me wanna ask for more
I just miss you
Yeah, it's true
I miss you, baby

Don't Stop

2008-03-14T19:48:00.000+11:00

I am missing you but I don't want this feeling to stop.
You're driving me crazy but I don't really mind.
You're all that I think about but I don't care cause I love thinking about you.

with love,
MeR

HEAT WAVE!!!

2008-03-14T16:45:00.000+11:00

OMJ! It's freaking hot over here. Even hoter than singapore or Indo. The heat here is crazy. You really just want to stay at home and on the aircon and chill. I'm drinking lots of water to keep me from dehydration. I think I'm having water retention now.

Oh!! Anyways, I went to Moomba festival the other night and I watched the fireworks. Some people may think "what's the deal with fireworks?" I used to think that way to and actually still do now. I don't know why people runs out of the room to the balcony whenever there's a firework. It's just sparks in the sky. But the fireworks at Moomba was different. I was actually awed (yeah shoot me now). It was beautifully synchronized, different than all the other fireworks I have ever witnessed. All I could do was to admire and take in the beauty... Speechless....

P.S.: You're still on my mind and I'm still missing you. =)

Fallen Star, Fallen Angel

2008-03-13T21:05:00.000+11:00

Pardon me for my absence, I have been busy. (*tsk* yeah right)

Fine! I have a really good excuse alright?! I don't have internet! And now finally I do!!!!!!!!! WHEEE!!! I'm back on earth people! Feel like I've been living in planet mars. Oh wait, I think their technology is more advance than ours right. Oh wells, that's so unecessary.

Let's see, what have been going on in my life ever since I was abducted by aliens...
Thinking of you, thinking about you, missing you, oh and one more thing, trying to get you out of my mind. How cool is that. Geez, I guess the aliens have given something to rack my brain.

Life has been, great except for the fact that you are not around. I have been enjoying my uni life so far. Social life has not been to bad either. It seems like distance is unable to erase you from my brain and this red beating thing called "the heart".

[You're like a fallen star, an angel that has been sent to me to make my night turn into day, make my lemon into lemonade, make bitterness into sweetness]

*I like your every bit from head to toe. I like your smile, your laughter, the way you frown at a joke*

Sunburnt

2008-02-25T03:45:00.000+11:00

This has been the best summer holiday ever! For real!!

Many things had happened during this summer break.

A few that actually helped me to grow up a little bit more. *sigh* pretty depressed that the break is ending.

Anyways, the highlight of this holiday will have to be the one thing that I never expected myself to do. I was actually proud of it and there's no regret at all in doing that. In fact, it gives me a sense of relieve. I'm glad that you know the truth now and I know you may not be able to promise me anything but you knowing it is enough for me.

Just want to let you know that I'll be here waiting and if ever there is a day comes and you change your mind, you know that I'll still be here. I'll keep hoping, keep wishing for a change to come. No pressure at all on you though!

[I want to be the reason for the smile on your face. I want to be the reason for the sparkle in your eyes. I want to be the reason for the happiness you feel. I want to be YOUR reason.]

A brand new....

2008-02-24T03:58:00.000+11:00

Ola!! Welcome to my blog and for those of you who didn't know, I used to have and old blog [morningshine.blogspot.com]

I don't know why but I just have the sudden urge to create a new blog. This will be a place I spill all my feelings (well not all but some) and rant about everything else in the world. I don't promise that I will update very often cause I don't write based on routines but more of when I have the inspiration.

Guess this is all for welcoming post. Hope you guys will like what I'm writing and come back for more!

Ciao~

xoxo,
MeR